You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
