Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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