You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.