Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.

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  (716): fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck. http://tfl.nu/62ha
  Replies (1) Good night (675) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night

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  (978): my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night http://tfl.nu/ky4c
  Replies (5) Good night (4467) Bad night (876)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.

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  (703): We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college. http://tfl.nu/pxwn
  Replies (11) Good night (4648) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless

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  (607): Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless http://tfl.nu/a84j
  Replies (20) Good night (5118) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention

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  (845): Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention http://tfl.nu/alzz
  Replies (9) Good night (4302) Bad night (1315)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?

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  (317): Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume? http://tfl.nu/reh6
  Replies (9) Good night (3401) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop

  (213): View more from California

  so that means christmas in space?

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi

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  (781): my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop (213): so that means christmas in space? (781): imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi http://tfl.nu/5ssx
  Replies (14) Good night (7128) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.

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  (908): He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca. http://tfl.nu/7ojr
  Replies (6) Good night (3528) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.

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  (407): My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now. http://tfl.nu/oxop
  Replies (12) Good night (2696) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.

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  (+44): he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess. http://tfl.nu/epre
  Replies (10) Good night (2092) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.

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  (804): Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many. http://tfl.nu/1pp3
  Replies (4) Good night (778) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.

  (1-563): View more from Iowa

  I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.

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  (563): My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow. (1-563): I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning. http://tfl.nu/zocz
  Replies (9) Good night (1753) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.

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  (971): It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth. http://tfl.nu/pavc
  Replies (5) Good night (390) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.

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  (615): There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%. http://tfl.nu/531s
  Replies (3) Good night (850) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.

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  (508): It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical. http://tfl.nu/soip
  Replies (0) Good night (733) Bad night (276)

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