Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this