Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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