1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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