I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
