Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Is it penis luge time yet?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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