I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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