He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
