We won't sleep together?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
