As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
