im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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