Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
So many bounce houses so little time
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
