I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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