he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
