She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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