I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
