Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
