you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
