took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You made out with two different species that night
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
