Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
COCAINE IS GR8
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
