how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
