i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize