everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
