I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
