If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
