im six kinds of drunk right now
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
