I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
