chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i've created a new STD.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
