It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
