I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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