and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
