My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
