I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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