It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
