booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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