I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
