Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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