I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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