My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
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Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize