i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The air taste purple.
Randomize
