It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
