so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
