If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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