I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
accomplished twins. life is a go
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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