16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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