you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
