I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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