If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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