Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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