Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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