The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
