just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
