Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
