I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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