I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's the barista slut.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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