I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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