Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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