Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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