I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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