Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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