She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
