I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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