Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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