I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
