She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
